Faulty Assumptions & Negative Beliefs

The next 2 kinds of thinking traps we’ll be covering are: faulty assumptions and negative beliefs. Even though the context of this book really only scratches the surface in terms of understanding just how destructive these two traps can be, it’s important to introduce them. First up: faulty assumptions.

Faulty assumptions are unreliable or inaccurate conclusions based primarily on one’s interpretation of a set of facts. Here’s an example: Perhaps my partner struggles to express difficult emotions. That is, he or she simply “shuts down” when it comes to sensitive issues. This stonewalling behavior might lead me to conclude he/she simply isn’t as invested in the relationship as I am. If I subsequently relate to my partner, and approach the relationship as if we are unequally invested, what kind of impact is it likely to have? There’s a high probability it won’t be positive! What I’ve failed to consider in this example is the possibility that there might be a completely different, even unrelated, explanation for this failure to communicate!

If a faulty assumption isn’t corrected, it’s not only likely to worsen existing problems, but potentially create completely new ones. Honest and direct communication dramatically increase the chances faulty assumptions won’t derail you. Say what you mean and don’t assume you know what others mean – check in!

Moving on to a second thinking trap of this lecture, a negative belief is the acceptance of something as both adverse and factual, even in the absence of supporting evidence. More specifically, for our purposes, negative beliefs generally reflect a perceived inadequacy in one’s self, in others, or disillusionment with one’s state of being or circumstance. Unfortunately, these tend to be strongly held, core beliefs.